Sex and the City

And so it is...

2008-02-26T07:00:00.000-08:00

So Damien O' Rice once said and it is true. It always is. There is no redemption sometimes and I shall now stop here....right here...

Stuck in a Moment

2008-02-16T00:47:00.000-08:00

I am stuck in a moment and I am angry. I am upset. I am....

Zsa Zsa Zoo?

2008-02-03T05:31:00.000-08:00

So is no one ever good enough? Does there always have to be "Zsa Zsa Zoo" to get you forward? I do not know. I feel awful after having done what I did. I do not know how to step aside and think about it anymore. It just bothers me. May be I am not good enough. May be I should just learn to let good people come my way and let them remain. May be.

All the Men

2007-12-24T23:17:00.000-08:00

Well there are several men in my life and I just realized that I can let them be in my life without letting my life take a flying fuck. I can be in control of my life, love all these men and let them be. Too much time has been spent on them and now I will only spend time and effort on them if I see it going someplace for me as well..I mean I give and I give and I give some more and then at the end of the day I get nothing. Yes it is about giving and receiving. Love or Lust or whatever you might want to call it. It is just that. And the sooner we all understand it the better it is. I am not bitter about any experience. I loved these men - I think 7 to be precise and the bottomline is that none of them loved me back and if they did in their very strange way then its only nice. And if they did not then its too bad for them and not me. I am not just saying this for the sake of it but I believe it. A new start is called for...Its high time already.

The Weekend...

2007-12-15T22:02:00.000-08:00

Its almost short of a holiday these days or at least that's what happens to me at work on a Friday Evening. I wait in anticipation to leave that dreaded place and go out drinking (not that I do that quite often) or on a nice date (which is also a rarity these days)...all said and done I love my weekends...there is nothing more gratifying than that after a 5-day week...I pity people and friends who have 6-day work weeks and love my job sometimes...aaahhh...orgasmic it is...yes it is....

The weekend however also comes and goes away way too soon and I end up feeling as though I have done absolutely nothing. Zilch. I should have sex more often on holidays. That would help. May be out of city sex - a Pune or Matheran may be...what say?

And what is it that I do over the weekend besides watching films, reading or going to the library? Must do something new.....must do something new...and now I do not know what I am keying in anymore...so bye bye...

After a long time...

2007-10-25T00:47:00.000-07:00

I bumped into him after a long time on yahoo messenger. He was in Zurich and did not have that much time on hand...We spoke...not of old times but times to come...we chatted a lot...he has not emailed me yet...i wonder why? do...if you are reading this which i am sure you are :-)

So I am Horny...

2007-09-22T22:19:00.000-07:00

Well last night I had a so-called date; a very funny one at that - he was not funny in the funny sense of the word. He was just blah, extremely boring and cute and had a problem with me being horny...Well what do I tell such people? There was nothing I could and there was nothing that I did. Ironically enough he by the end of the date wanted to just do it badly and here I am thinking to myself, "Well darling holier than thou doesn't work", so I turn around and just tell him one thing, "Be yourself" and I walk away from there. It was a lame response and yet as
I walked away the thought lingered, "Is being horny bad enough?". I debated. I was restless cos I did not get my answer and finally I did. Not at all. I am ok. I am fine. I am just charged a lot more than the others and I have no bones about it. I do not claim to want friendship or make any friends. I have mine and I am happy with them. I am quite candid about what I need and I guess that's what intimidates people and if it does, then may be there aren't men enough for me.

rambling

2007-08-09T06:38:00.000-07:00

he exists. its a fact. but may be not for me. he is there. that is another fact, however not where i want him to be. i try and reach out sometimes but the words do not come out right. i pray that they will but i lose them somehow. i try too hard i think. fearing that i might lose him. what i do not realize that he is not mine to lose. it all sounds cliche but may be all feelings are cliched anyway. i have thought a lot. i always do where he is concerned. i do not know why but thats just the way i am when it comes to him. he he he. him him him. i am ok with it not being about me...me me me....there we go again. i have felt and i am happy that the feeling exists. it must. for me. thats the way i am made. things can be easier i think, but would i want them to be any easier or any more complicated than they already are? i am rambling right now and may be i must stop...

The Week Gone By....

2007-07-15T02:34:00.000-07:00

Another week has gone by and I am just where I started from at work - going nowhere. Work has become so stagnant that all I do at work is twidle my thumbs and no it is not the most flattering thing to be doing at work at 4 in the evening. You want a challenge at work and yes I am also aware of the fact that all days are not exciting, however I come from the school of thought that an employee must be productive on almost all days at work - whether you agree or not. The people at work also seem to be getting on my nerves - save one cute boy who does not pay attention to me. Sigh.

Saw "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" with RM and CT last evening and loved it to the core - but naturally only because of Daniel Radcliffe. He is divine and I love the way he looks. Makes me weak in the knees and let's not get carried away now. I have never waited for any book the way I have been waiting for the next HP....Would love to know what happens in the end....

Threw a party for a close friend who is leaving town in a while. And I have mixed feelings about it. While I am happy for him, I also wish he wasn't going, because I have never told him this but he is adorable. The honest, speaking his mind and heart sometimes [that's when he is the best] and very very helpful. I will miss him terribly and all our Tea Centre outings. Come back soon...

Less

2007-06-29T01:52:00.000-07:00

So I wander. All the time or may be there are times when I do not. Or so it seems. Off-late everything is a blur. The life I am leading. The work I am doing. The work that I am not doing. Books that I am reading. Its like I am in a limbo and somehow in a very strange way I am liking it. I wonder why.

Good Times

2007-04-29T05:09:00.000-07:00

Yes I am back after a long hiatus and hope that I do not remain in the shadows any longer. Love the fact of being back on my blog and keying in something for my pleasure. This weekend has been long and rather well spent, though I am unwell as of now, however it was superb. A friend got back from S'Pore and there was a lot of catching up to do with him. Spent almost all of Saturday with him and then proceeded to Guppie's party. Yes one of those very legendary ones - this time though it was a little different. There was interesting conversation rolled in with a lot of laughs. The room seemed cosy enough with bout 10 gay men - all intelligent and loads to speak about with uncontrollable giggles, cackles and alcohol being roped in very good measure. There was CT as usual preening away to glory with the hot American boy by his side - rather man. Then there was Combiflam boy [Don't ask why he has been named that] with S - who we all met last night for the first time, including cute and yet a lil snooty business writer boy, with T [who we do not know well at all], then there was H, and Aristera, RM and yours truly.

The night was just fascinating. We spoke of almost everything - from Rakhi Sawant to Item Songs to films to books to just about anything till we were reasonably high and drunk. Finally got to know the roots of CT's nick name and it was hilarious! I do not know why it took me so much time to get back to blogging but speaking of blogs last night may be did it for me and I thought of my almost barren blog since ages and decided to finally post something.

Currently Reading : The Nice and Good by Murdoch and its a heartbreaker

Quote of the Fortnight: Oscar Wilde once said "there are only two great tragedies. not getting someone you want and getting it." sigh...

Once again...

2007-02-11T20:01:00.000-08:00

Almost a month has gone by and everything looks or rather seems so distant.Not literally though - but as a figurative, almost everything. May be I am not connected or deeply attached like I used to be. My mum tells me I have changed. Don't we all? Metamorphosis is something that is a part of us whether we like it or not; whether we ignore it or not. There are a very few people in my life who have remained constant till now and I dread to think of what life would be without them. I am way too dependent on them and there is no other way to be.

My sex-life has taken a back seat all of a sudden [Well no puns intended here!] and I do not miss it the way I thought I would. Read about 9 books the past and it feels nice. Drifting from sex to reading to wondering to being non-chalant about statements or to how people really are. Hollow sometimes.

Yawn Yawn!!

2007-01-18T09:14:00.000-08:00

I so want to write and all of a sudden its all gone. I do not have anything to say. The first post of the year and nothing eventful to boast about. Yeah here and there I have done my thing but that's all there is to it. These days men come and go and they leave no impression at all - well literally as well sometimes. Wicked! And there are times I wonder why do I even bother! I shouldn't. Sometimes I think that may be deep down there is a person who really wants it all - the whole hog and yet so scared to admit it to himself. Well whatever the consequences, the feeling still remains. Though hidden and sometimes often made public either on the blog or told to friends.

There is so much that needs my attention all of a sudden and yet I am unable to give it. My new house requires it and god knows that I haven't done much to its restoration or taken any interest in the process. I am just plain lethargic these days and living it up. Reading takes up most of my time cos there is nothing to do at work. Seriously. I just sit on my seat and do nothing. Stare into the Excel and Word Documents aimlessly just trying to get some direction from what I seem to be doing. Work is alomost like a place that I do not want to be at but I am only cos it pays my home loan.

Is it boredom that is getting to me before anything else? Would twiddling my thumbs be such a great idea after all?

Just...

2006-12-26T09:48:00.000-08:00

Another year that will soon go by and I shall wonder when the sun rises on the 1st about the year that just went by. In the blink of an eye and yet the wonders it has shown me - some good, some bad [yes there are bad wonders as well - oxymoronic but true]. Of the new friendships that were formed and of the old ones that only grew stronger. Of the drop-outs in relationships that meant a lot at some point and they only made me realize that I can do without them, if I have to live and not just survive. I have grown as a person. I am not trying to get all contemplative about it but I know and the knowing is enough at some stage, at any stage. And that is reason enough to rejoice and that's exactly what I plan to do. I never believed in New Year Resolutions and if someone still asks me, "What's yours?", I turn around and say, "None" and there are no milestones to be achieved. There are no thoughts that drift away. There is nothing that I need to mull over except how my life is going, where is it going and whether I am steering it in the direction I want it to go.

2006 was a roller-coaster ride. I changed 3 jobs and finally stuck to something that I love doing. I haven't fallen in love at all with anyone this year and it feels so good. It feels like me. I have had so much sex - phew!! that I love every second of it and need I say more...I feel like sitting on a ferris wheel and experience the butterflies in my stomach as I come closer to the earth and then far away from it. I do not wish to do anything different in 2007. I do not hope for anything exciting to happen to me [though a teeny tiny bit of me wishes that something does happen and even if it doesn't i am ok with it]...I am trying to get my mind sorted and have achieved so much of it already.

Another year...
Abrupt memories
Sudden Silence
And then come the kisses...
Mementos on the mantlepiece...
Its quiet and cosy...
It feels good...

Things that make me..

2006-12-16T11:56:00.000-08:00

...i am frightened of sleeping alone, though I know that this might be it...
...i do not know how to iron my clothes...never done it and i know i never will.
...I am learning...almost everyday
...I love my friends and they are all there for me...
...I do not know what to do with my life and yet I feel I own the world
...These days I am more positive about my life and I love the feeling
...I do not want to be taken for a ride and sometimes I do end up that way but that is alright as long as I can deal with it...
...I blabber and ramble as I am doing right now :-)
...I love "TrainWreck" by Sarah McLachlan
...These days I am learning how to take things in my stride...
...I do not get emotional about things anymore or at least I try not to and I am succeeding...almost there

...Its late and I am not sleepy yet...

2006-12-15T00:16:00.000-08:00

The Wonder Years - Pilot Part 1

love this series!!

sorted

2006-12-14T07:25:00.000-08:00

everything is sorted...i am all simple now...nothing is complicated. no complex thoughts or relationships or people that bother me...and yet i miss it all...the complexity...the simple life is good and yet...

The Date Game

2006-11-09T07:42:00.000-08:00

Do modern-day singles need modern-day myths just to date? - Carrie

May be we do. After all we are the modern-day singles aren't we? Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty are not enough for us. We need something more concrete. Something more reliable. Something more like a dream that we can believe in and that does not shatter. Coming to dating, I haven't been out on a date since 6 months almost. I so need to. I know of friends for whom its almost been a year and I wonder how do they manage. And by dating I do not mean sleeping. They are two different things and barely fall in the same category so lets not confuse them. I get scared of dating these days and I do not know why or may be I do. It could be because of the fact that I might get rejected right away on the first date and there may not be other dates [which has happened in the past you know] or it could be that I might reject anyone [now I wonder if that has happened in the past?]

Dates - what constitute them and how do they progress is another story altogether. There are dates that last forever and you are waiting and waiting for chemistry to strike and then there are dates where within minutes you know there is chemistry and biology and everything more. There is the proverbial eye-meeting and you know. There is the chance brushing of the hand on the thigh [or is it merely a matter of chance?] and there are vibes that will enforce themselves on you, only because you asked for it. I do not even know if I am making any sense at all.

I really think I would now need to force myself to go on a date. There is so much effort in going out on a date. To decide what you will wear. What will you say. What you should leave out of the discussion. What is your best foot forward. Or will you just be yourself and offend the other person or you might just attract him..Dates and dates and more dates...sigh...So you meet a guy and the first time what hits the two of you is pure sheer undiluted silence. I mean I know how to talk and I get tongue-tied. He is not that goodlooking you know and yet...I am looking at the cars go by. I nod when he talks and keep answering in monosyllables. Its so much of an effort. God save me! Only to reailze that he will not call again or ask me out for another date...

I come home and the calendar is right there...with a red mark on a certain day...reminding me of another date :-)

Peeche Palat Kar Dekha

2006-11-06T23:36:00.000-08:00

There is no looking back now.

love...

2006-10-30T05:33:00.000-08:00

the ice cubes that float in the juice
hurt me like a bruise
a big blue bruise
words get in the way
so much smoke
sunday evenings - restless and bored
and to add to that - melancholic
spoke too soon
the alarm rings
tell your boss you are dead and lets go back to bed
sunflower dreams with pollen in my hair...

Some songs...

2006-10-27T09:24:00.000-07:00

So there are songs and then there are songs. Some of my best laughs and memories have been created by singing songs with K and remembering all the hideously cheap songs that we no longer are ashamed of. We speak of them or rather sing them sometimes in public as well. Stop K..its no use lying now. We love Gulzar and no he isn't the flavour of any season cos he is timeless. Though we hate some of his songs, for instance, "Dakiya Daak Laya! Dakiya Daak Laya" - i mean really, get a life dude and not to forget, "Humko Maloom Hai Ishq Masoom hai" - though the beginning is fantastic, the song falls flat on its face with future and all that in it...

We love our item numbers that are so cheap..Crack us up all the time!! "Kuch tere dil mein sissy, kuch mere dil mein sissy...zamaana hai bura"...."Mama mia pom pom pyar ki gadi tez chalao, accelator [thats the way it is pronounced in the song] aur dabao [lol!!]...", "Chat par soya tha bahen-hoi, mein tane samajh kar so gayi" [that's amongst our top 10]...

there are so many of them which i will mention here, but the best part is that I can never ever sing these songs with anyone else but K. He somehow manages to bring out the slut in me, though it is latent all the time! "Raat Baki Baat baki hona hai jho".... to some arbid song where Govinda is dressed in a Superman Outfit with Kimi Katkar in a Spiderman outfit [Abominable isn't the word!!] singing away to glory in Borivali Nationa Park:

"Tu Mera Superman"
"Tu meri lady"
Chorus: "Shuru ho gaya hai ab to pyar...aalllllllready"

I can't get over the song of "Zakhmi Aurat" [Ever heard of that film where Dimple Kapadia and girl gang are out on a Bobbiting spree]....which has Puneet Isaar and Aruna Irani on an artificial beach and our woman is wearing a hideous multi-coloured skirt running around a Red Maruti 800 singing..."Mujhe aisi vaisi nako samajh..hyderabad ki poti hun"...lol!!

...Such songs never end...this is just a glimpse into our silly world...K's and mine's...of silly songs...

freeing oneself

2006-10-24T09:08:00.000-07:00

....It feels like the unbearable lightness of being. light and yet so heavy. not at all like its supposed to be - it is not light anymore...though all baggage is gone or so it seems. I want to have sex...Loads of sex...that should definitely set me free....

the keys

2006-10-22T04:29:00.000-07:00

....i have the keys to the mixed up mind
to the twisted me
to the unhappy me
to the unreasonable me
to the loud me
to the uncouth me
to the illogical me
i have the keys to the door of my self
my ugly self
my nonchalant self and yet everything affects me
to my not-so-funny self
to the self that i do not love
and therefore no one knocks
i have the key i say
open it...
they hesitate
they laugh and they walk away
and i am waiting with the key in my hand...

A Feeling

2006-10-14T00:43:00.000-07:00

I feel good. After a long long time. I feel nice. I feel light and there is no heaviness anymore. Why should there be any anyway? I feel like I could be myself and no apologies this time. Whatsoever. I feel good. It seemed at one point that I couldnt't get myself to feel good but I do. Thoughts remain. Of everyone. Yet I feel nice. That's only because I allow myself to. At the end, it is about what you allow yourself and what you deny yourself. No more denying. At last, face the music...Things may not be in place the way I would like them to be and yet...the point has been made. I feel good.

The "C" Word!!

2006-10-08T06:46:00.000-07:00

So comes a Sunday - riding with sloth and loads of lethargy and then I realize that I am not fortunate enough to do all of that, cos I have a f*****g client who has been slapped on my back and I need to entertain her....yawn yawn and all that...She is all of 300 pounds [I look slim slim slim in front of her] and doesn't stop talking...She was to pick me up [yeah yeah the only kind of picking up I am ever getting considering my shape and emotional sensibilities these days] from Lucky's at Bandra and we were to head to Gateway of India. What's with these phirangs and GOI? Can't they just let it be? I mean for heaven's sake its only a structure by the sea. Big Deal! Then she wants to know on the drive there the history of that place. *V rolls eyes at this point and asks the driver to turn on the music passing him my new Jewel CD*...till the client decides to pester V and starts talking:

3p [300-pounder]: So who is there in your family?
V: [thinking to himself: duh!! isn't that like a personal question to ask someone?] My mum, sis and I...I replied with a grin on my face...I mean after all she is american and a client at that...
3p: That's nice [Hunh? What's so nice about it - thinks V]! We are six siblings in all!
V: [Thinks: Wow! What a brilliant piece of information to share! I am so happy for you and yr one big happy family...Dad's libido hunh?] That's nice. So what do they do? [Asked out of courtesy...and then silently cursed myself for it]
3p: one's an engineer, the other works at a departmental store......by that time all that went in my mind was blah, blah, blah, some more blah, blah, blah and blah...

Then the client went on and fished her "India" Lonely Planet!! Damn! I hate those lonely planets. Do you where that place is? Do you know where that place is? I hated the conversation and was this close to strangling her but passed my frustration off with a smile....

V: Its Sunday...Everything is shut!
3p: Even Gandhi house? [with the accent of course]
V: Yes
3p: Isn't that a heritage monument? Shouldn't it be open?
V: Let's check and see...

She went on and on and I had to be a part of the inane conversation. She told me her cat's name [Why me? why me?], she would not stop talking about the hotel we had put her up at [The Renaissance Powai]....I was sick and tired by the time we reached GOI. And she did not even want to step out. She just wanted to be inside the car and she said something to the effect of "Pretty!" and I was fuming!!

The next spot: Colaba Causeway. She wanted to pick up trinkets for her colleagues...

3p: I do not like anything here
V: Its good stuff you know
3p: Better at the hotel
V: Ok. I am sure you will like something here
3p: Nah!
V: At least its better than Mexico...
3p: [With a Quixotic look] Ok

And then Her Highness was hungry....So we went to Theobroma where she ate and ate and ate while I watched and hated being there...Clients - wonder how would one define them? Why does one have to entertain them? Why can't they just leave me alone?

Clients....go on and on about Diwali and ask about how Ram killed Ravan...Yeah right like I know. I am supposed to but I don't know so quit bothering me. I made her eat some Idli as well with chutney and I hope she gets an upset tummy [Evil Grin!!]....she loved that as well....She loves India. She is MJ. She is a client....Never again....

To An Unknown God...

2006-10-05T09:18:00.000-07:00

i am hurt. i am upset. very upset. i wish i would die right now and my heart would break into a thousand splinters and i couldn't care less. i am not being melodramatic. i do not want any comments on this post [not like anyone reads my blog anyway]. i am sick and tired of everything. i cannot make new friends at this stage in my life. i do not want to. i am trying to hold on desperately to the ones that i have for i am so insecure about them as well. i wish i knew how to make sense of my life at this point - sadly enough i do not. there is only person who calls me every day to ask me how am i doing and i will be ever grateful to him. i am needy at this point and there is no one i can turn to. what do i tell them? i want to talk to you. listen to me. i cannot even share what i feel cos it sounds like i am whining. it sounds like i am cribbing. it sounds like everything else but my emotions. my emotions do not have a voice left.

i am trying. to grapple with so many things and the one person i want to speak with has shown me the exit from his life. i do not want to be thrown out. i want to be in. i will apologize. i will grovel. i will do what it takes cos he means a lot to me. i should back off. may be he needs his space. all friends do need their space sometimes, don't they? but i do not know how to back off. i have never learnt that. no one taught me that. sadly. and i wait. i am pouring my heart out on a blog - that almost everyone can read. what a fool! yet there is no other way to do it. i want to run away. from everything. i want to make things right but i forget that one cannot undo.

there is so much i want to say. i know there are friends who might even listen. i know that and yet i feel so lost. i feel so completely cut off that it hurts. thats all. i know i may be sounding so melodramatic but so be it if it means to be expressive. if it means to say what i want to. i do not want a lover. i could not care for one. i just need my friends. and somewhere down the line: is that too much to ask for? i know they are there. but i need more and i am so short of stating that.

two years is a long time. a very long time. a lot can happen and has. fights, patch-ups between friends, the knowing that he will always be there [will he?], the knowing that i will always be there no matter what, the pact, the nonsense talks, the moronic arguments, the hurt, the joy and all of that...i miss my friend. i know i am wrong and who cares who is wrong anymore. i want to curl up to a corner where i am alone. all alone and yet my mind screams for company. my heart yearns for a long conversation over the phone. i want to be needed. i want to be given that importance. the priority...i want...i gained and now i think i have lost....miserably...

random blabbering

2006-10-04T10:06:00.000-07:00

sometimes i wonder why i let myself get affected in this manner. i do not know. i will get my answers. hopefully.

5 months and no sex at all. not even a kiss. i do not know when will i get back in the groove. do you?

reading nineteen eighty four by george orwell and somehow fits the situation that i am in right now. go figure

work seems to be excellent. my sub-ordinates [do they even use that word anymore?] think i am a total bitch. i am happy!!

i do not anything anymore and the good part is that i do not care. yeah vivek keep telling yourself that, may be you will believe it someday...

look at me...

2006-10-01T07:37:00.000-07:00

even the attention whore needs some attention
someone to ask: how are you? is everything alright?
just a touch perhaps
just a smile to make know that all will be fine
eventually
dependency - on what? for whom?
and it all has to end
even the attention whore needs some attention...

...And so it is...

2006-10-01T05:22:00.000-07:00

Carrie: Can a relationship bring you back to life?

I doubt it. I do not know actually. May be it can I am guessing. A Relationship - the overtly abused term after "Love", "Sex" and "Baby" or something like that. What does it take to constitute a relationship? Then it could be of any kind for that matter - a sexual relationship - where the rules are clearly laid and you do not have to worry about it till it threatens to turn into something huge that you never saw coming anyway. Then there are the other kinds - friends, family and then lovers - or so it seems.

Is there an expiration date of relationships too? I wish there was. I really wish there was some kind of date they would come with so may be for once we could start enjoying them knowing it was going to end anyway. So that you never have to use them later. . The signs of the start and the end of a relationship are so clear - its there in your face and we are so oblivious to it. Sometimes the vastness of a relationship frightens me to even want to venture on that road or take it forward. After all it is about the other person too, isn't it? And the selfish me doesn't want to accept it.

Relationships not only bring you back to life when you really want to but they also have the capacity to end something deep in you. To kill it. I am not being a cynic. These are just facts that I have observed and picked along the way. And they are useful if you do not wear your heart on your sleeve like I do.

So it is all about the success of a relationship? Doesn't the failure of a relationship speak more? I think it does. It makes you see. And is it really a failure then if two people just couldn't be with one another? Why blame destiny then? Why blame anyone at all?

Relationships - they are weird and yet we endure cos we want to. We want to be in a relationship and also sometimes seek for that independence while we are in one. I haven't been in any. May be I should. Who knows? It might bring me back to life.

Free-Falling

2006-10-01T05:11:00.000-07:00

sometimes its easier - to talk to strangers. to tell them everything about you. what you are going through. how you are feeling right now. the person you want to be. the person you wish you hadn't turned out to be and there you have said it all - or at least most of it. there must be more to life than this - than this boredom of sorts, than this detachment that is settling in and its not from everyone that i feel detached. its only some and sometimes may be it is for the best. who knows?
Woh Lamhe is a big big letdown except for Shiney though. He is yummy-licious in the film!! I love the way he looks. I could go on and on and on but you get the drift, right? Kangana looks fantastic and anorexically thin and she is all of nineteen. Damn!! Purab in a mouche so not happening!! Over all: A big big disappointment except for Shiney and his chest and his arms and his smile and his intensity.

Are private lives to be made public? Is it ok if they are?

There is a surge of emotions in me and they refuse to let go. May be i am not giving them a chance to be released. May be it is my fault after all. All of them cluttered - they take so much space. Where is the release after all?

Divide

2006-09-27T15:49:00.000-07:00

There always seems to be a dividing line. For everything and anything that I want to see clearly and I can't. I wonder why is it so difficult to or may be I am just being blind. Always? I do not know anymore.

New Blog...

2006-09-24T10:13:00.000-07:00

All old entries are now at www.ofloveandotherdemons.wordpress.com
this one will also remain
so see you there and here!!

A Streetcar Named Desire

2006-09-24T10:10:00.000-07:00

Some of my favourite quotes from the play:

“Whoever you are—I have always depended on the kindness of strangers. “- Blanche

Deliberate cruelty is unforgivable, and the one thing of which I have never,ever been guilty of. - Blanche

I don’t want realism. I want magic! Yes, yes, magic. I try to give that to people. I do misrepresent things. I don’t tell truths. I tell what ought to be truth. - Blanche

I said I was sorry three times! - Blanche

Straight? What’s ’straight’? A line can be straight, or a street. But the heart of a human being? - Blanche